Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Searching for Destiny...

I wanted to make a DO or DIE thing. But I'm just scared.

I'm willing to take the risk, but I'm afraid of risking our friendship. If I tell him how I feel, I might lose him forever. But if I keep it to myself, I might find him in some other girl's arms. This has been bothering me for days. I kept on making parinig through my FB page, but it seems like he doesnt get it. I invited him to this event, but it he couldnt show up. I keep on dropping hints, but still, not getting it.

I'm not sure why he seems so dense. And I can't figure myself for liking the chase.

SIX YEARS

I have this thing for him for six years. Eventhough I had a relationship that time, I never failed to cross paths with him. But the weird thing is, we'd both be in a relationship. I never really imagined that this would happen, ever, because I thought my former relationship would be my last. But here we are, both single, free and unattached. So why is he still not doing the asking?

It happened again when I was feeling woozy from the vodka that my brother mixed out for our friends. I insisted my friend to call him, see how he is. He's still the same bubbly but knight-like person I used to know. He used to be like my protector. Whenever we go to parties with our friends, he would take me home safe. He never failed to go to my debut even though we barely knew each other that time. He was always there. Sadly, he never saw me more than a friend.

When he found out that I broke up with the ex, my friend told me that "Single na pala si Ria eh! Siya nalang liligawan ko!" Now I'm not sure if he was dead serious, but I felt happy that maybe the spark he was looking for would turn into this flame I had long been waiting for.

And that seems to be the problem.

I'm not sure how he feels. Everytime we talk to each other, it feels so right. All the signs point to him wherever I might be. When I go home at night, something or someone reminds me of him. I took one risk last week, but he couldnt make it though. And so I would quote Serendipity:

"Maybe the absence of signs is a sign"

I am not sure where the path will lead me to. But like Jonathan Trager in Serendipity, I will never fail the pursuit of my "long reputed soul mate". May it be McDreamy or not, my heart is always on my sleeve. And fate will surface soon. :)

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