alone

I can't sleep.

It's one of those days when I feel so alone and I really need someone to talk to. But I guess, no one would because everyone's busy with their own lives. Good thing i now have a connection or its one of those sleepless mornings when all I could do is to stare at the ceiling and think of stupid and unreal thoughts. Or it might be real but it hasn't happened yet.

My best friend dropped by 2 nights ago to check if there's something wrong with the PC, but we ended up playing Text Twist. On the way to her house, we managed to have a little Chismax..

moi: Bubut, 9 months na wala pa din akong boyfriend. Panu kung tumandang dalaga na lang ako?
bubut: Alam mo, hindi ko talaga alam kung anong problema sayo, may iba naman dyan na hindi naman maganda (*name witheld) pero nagkaka-boyfriend. Nagsusungit ka ba nitong mga nakaraang araw?
moi: Ano ka ba? Ako pa tinanong mo kung masungit, e ang bait ko kaya sa lahat ng tao!
bubut: Malay mo naman, bata ka pa naman eh.
moi: Bubut, mukha lang akong bata. Pero hindi na.

And it ended there. There's no gossips actually, just gossip about my love life and why HE couldn't show his face to me yet.

Mela said, "Ria kung desperado ka na, papatulan mo na talaga si Mark. Eh kung yung tao nga na walang tigil na nangungulit sayo, ayaw mong bumigay, ibig sabihin, alam mo kung sino talaga gusto mo"

Since Mark can't read this because, heck, he doesn't even know what a blog means, I told Mela " Hello? may balak pa kong mabuhay no? Kung sa kanya lang ako mapupunta, e di magpapakamatay na lang ako kesa maging mas miserable yung buhay ko!"

Do I sound mean? I think I should explain why I'd rather jump off a billboard at EDSA than to be in a relationship with him:

1. He has air for a brain
i.e. he spells liar as liayer. And when were still together, I texted him the quote about "wala lang" is the subconscious mind's way of saying i miss you and then he snapped at me, telling that I dont care about him. jeez! saan bang eskwelahan nag-aral yan!

2. He lives in Olongapo
Do I still need to give a reason? I'm not meant for that place,you know.

3. He stopped studying
Im shutting my mouth right now.

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I think I'd rather die alone than be with him. I know it sounds so mean, but it's really true.

It's already four am, still cant sleep, and still in front of the computer. See? my life really sucks..

Ta ta! =)